Clarity, Part 2

This post I will talk about 4 traits of clarity that the book Rules for Writers addresses. Then, I will edit my QRG draft for those traits and reflect on that.

Downing, Jenny. Clarity and Brightness of Chablis Wine. June 28, 2008 via wikimedia commons. Creative Commons Attribution 2.0 Generic. 

1. Replace be verbs that result in dull or wordy sentences.
Be verbs include am, is, are, was, were, be, being, been. These words are usually followed by the rest of a phrase, but a lot of times, the whole phrase can be replaced with a single action verb.

2. Untangle grammatical structures.
A common mistake that people make is using a prepositional phrase as a subject, when it can only be a modifier. The creates an unclear structure of the sentence and twists the sentence the wrong way. Another common mistake is adverb phrases. These also can often be replaces by a single action verb.

3.Choose an appropriate level of formality.
It is important to know the audience when choosing the level or formality. If you know that you are writing for a highly educated board, it would be appropriate to use highly formal language. If you are writing a piece aimed for a college class, it would be important to use respectable but less formal language. In the QRG, we should use respectable but less formal language to reach a broad spectrum of audiences.

4. Do not misuse words.
This one is plain and to the point, but it often still happens. One of the examples the book gave was, persistent vs. persistence. If you don't use this word often, it may be easy to switch the words up when writing. It is important to look in a dictionary if you are even the slightest bit unsure because it can result in an embarrassing mistake.

Reflection on my draft:

Going through my draft, I think a lot of sentences are pretty clear. Some things I needed to change is the wordiness in some areas. For example:

"...taking place in New York for years and is only now are the seas beginning to calm."

I can take out the word is and make it a little more clear as well as deleting another word.

I also found a couple sentences that are almost identical in different parts of my QRG.

"If there are less drivers with a higher demand, the wait times will increase, causing Uber to lose their advantage."

"However, if there are less drivers and higher demand, the wait time begins to stretch, resulting in Uber losing one of their biggest advantages."

There are still things that need a little editing, but I plan on revising my draft even more.